Things I Found in My Car

The long-awaited list:

1. A vintage bowling ball and bag
2. Three winter coats I haven’t seen since last winter
3. My favorite green raincoat that has been missing for-ev-er
4. Two pairs of emergency underwear (you gotta keep those around, you never know when you’ll need them)
5. Bucket full of Ya-Ya hat-making supplies that I remember putting in the trunk on Jennifer’s wedding day
6. The bouquet I carried in Amanda’s second wedding
7. Eight pairs of shoes, three which I have never worn
8. A flower pot and doll stand that I was supposed to drop off at Amanda’s house after Hope and Need (in September)
9. A red sweater my sister bought for me when I was a freshman in high school
10. A small saucepan
11. Nine unfinished wooden cabinet doors
12. An extra spare tire. . . seriously, I have no idea where it came from
13. A book I started reading when I was first hired at Humana
14. The lease agreement for my first apartment
15. A black vampire cape from Halloween (which Halloween, I do not know)
16. A scrapbook full of really old family photos
17. The business plan for Help The Ville
18. A computer mouse
19. Three scarves, a belt, and no fewer than ten pairs of socks
20. A mason jar containing a spare key to the car
21. A City of Louisville parking ticket from July 21, 2007;  the day Amanda and I camped out at the 4th Street Borders to get our wristbands for the new Harry Potter book (unpaid, by the way)
22. Copy of _Mere Christianity_ by C.S. Lewis. Yeah, that seemed like such a good idea at the time.
23. Copy of _I, Lucifer_ to balance out the above
24. Two half-used jugs of windshield washer fluid
25. Three ice scrapers
26. One glove

No dead bodies.

Random Lists Generated by Random Thoughts

Things Guys Should Never Say To Girls

1. “You remind me of my mother.”
2. “You’re so much better at that than my wife/girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/sister/other.”
3. “If I got you pregnant it would ruin my life.” (Implication that the prospect of being forced to see her for the rest of your life is JUST. THAT. HORRIBLE.)
4. “You could stand to lose 100 pounds or so.” (Thanks, Dad.)
5. “Will you marry me?” (After spending a year explaining in gruesome detail why you’ll never, ever love her.)

Things I Would Tell Her

1. “He misses you.”
2. “Maybe you should get to know him.”
3. “I understand your frustration.”
4. “Please make him happy.”
5. “You have no idea how lucky you are.”

Things I Should Have Accomplished by Now

1. Becoming a homeowner
2. Having a fulfilling, meaningful, healthy relationship
3. Landing my dream job
4. Feeling some desire to become a mother
5. Losing 100 pounds

TV Shows I’m Addicted To, or Close to Becoming Addicted To

1. The X-Files goes without saying
2. Dexter
3. Supernatural
4. The Office
5. Scrubs
6. Deadliest Catch
7. Mythbusters
8. Ghost Hunters

Trips I Want to Take

1. Vegas
2. Salem, MA
3. Washington D.C.
4. San Fransisco
5. Savannah, GA
6. Hilton Head Island
7. Anywhere in Maine

Things I Should Be Doing

1. Sleeping
2. Studying
3. Shaving my legs
4. Not watching Dexter
5. Exercising

Friends I Need to Reconnect With

1. Autumn
2. Shawna
3. Glenna
4. Tony (2)
5. The Discount Labels gang

Awake

Three words just jumped out at me from a screen filled with thousands.

Maybe after this.

It was the first time I’ve ever felt certain that there’s a future.

The short, short version

Fancy’s getting a haircut next week.

So am I.

School sucks.

My finance professor is hot.

Work sucks.

My apartment is hot.

And dirty.

I haven’t washed my car in over a year.

I’m gonna get an iPhone.

I have a stalker.

I’ll never date again.

Awesome!

Dumbledore is a bad mother-effer.

Wish List

Things I Want to Do On My 26th Birthday

1. Go for a walk in Cave Hill
2. Ride a roller coaster
3. Listen to the waves at the Falls of the Ohio
4. Eat cotton candy
5. Have spaghetti for lunch
6. See a movie
7. Pet and kiss my cat
8. Hear my mother tell me the story about the day I was born
9. Take a nap in my underwear
10. Get a massage
11. Play some blackjack
12. Dance to my favorite song
13. Smile about the past and wonder about the future
14. Hug everyone I love
15. Forget about school and work
16. Look at old photos
17. Take new ones
18. Feel beautiful
19. Hear someone whisper something in my ear
20. Be tickled until I cry
21. Share it all with someone special

Protected: Without Words

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

I’m Just Sayin’

These are *sweet* and my birthday is coming up!

Summing Up My Life in Three Words

Flypaper for freaks.

Awesome. . .

Panda & Jenn, can we please get Maverick, Goose, and Iceman t-shirts and wear them everywhere we go forever and always? Please?

Superlatives

<<This post removed to prevent and assuage potential hurt feelings>>

Flair of the Day

Don’t feel like writing tonight, so I’ll let my Facebook Flair speak for me. Peace out.

The Answer is: Less than 1%

The question will remain unasked.

Unsleepability

Quiz time. Stolen from Amanda.

I Am. . . a mess
I Want . . . everything that I should want at this point in my life
I Have . . . the world’s greatest cat
I Wish . . . I could see my friends more often
I Hate . . . when people say they’re going to do something but do not do it
I Fear . . . summer gas prices
I Hear . . . the sweet sound of silence from my downstairs neighbors
I Search . . . for something unexpected every day
I Wonder . . . how long it’s going to take
I Regret . . . every time I ever hurt someone I love
I Love . . . thunderstorms
I Ache . . . every time that he goes away
I Always . . . floss every day
I Usually. . . am late to work
I Am Not . . . the fastest boat on the ocean sometimes
I Dance . . . while cleaning the apartment
I Sing . . . in the car, in the apartment, and in my cube when I forget that people can actually hear me
I Never . . . saw blue like that before
I Rarely . . . drink soft drinks these days
I Cry . . . over stuff I really shouldn’t, and don’t cry over stuff that I probably should
I Am Not Always . . . as respectful as I should be to the people I love
I Lose . . . at least three hours of my life every week to meetings
I’m Confused . . . about what some people expect from me
I Need . . . to be sleeping
I Should. . . not be so self-destructive sometimes

Today’s Lesson

Always, always, always carry spare keys to car and apartment. Always.

For Jennie

Did I mention they had magnets in their little hats?

Photo by superphotosleuth Peter Johnson. Thanks Pejo! 

Don’t Blink

My mind gravitates toward anniversaries. Six years ago today, I went with two people I barely know anymore to get my tattoo. Most times, I love it. Today, I despise it. Nothing about life today even remotely resembles the life I was living at that point. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it isn’t.  Sleep awaits.

Damn Sexy

Oooh, yeah. Finding myself snowed in for the day, I be lounging around showerless in my favorite four-sizes-too-big floppy t-shirt and purple socks up to my knees. Hawt. Even *I* want me right now.

Six Word Memoirs

Stumbled across this site tonight and thought about it for a minute. Could I write my life’s story in six words? I didn’t want to register on the site, so I’m posting my attempts here. If you’re up for the challenge, I’m very interested to read your attempts as well. Of course, every time I call for audience participation on this blog, no one ever jumps in. Oh well.

“It’s always something. Better than nothing.”

“The parking garage makes me smile.”

“My ass belongs in the Bluegrass.” (Admittedly, not mine, but still applicable.)

“Nothing extraordinary, but always something extra.”

“My best investment was my tattoo.”

“Still looking. Not sure what for.”

That’s all for tonight, kids. I’m off to watch the heap of snow atop my car climb higher and higher.

Yay!

I can has internets again!

I’m Neurotic

Again, I’ve completely forgotten about my woman on Human Age and my wolf, Remus, is about to die. His health is at 6%. The message says “If you don’t do something, he will die. He cannot hunt anymore.” I was just going to kill of my character but you can’t; you have to let her die. But to do that, Remus has to die, also. The thought of that cute, cuddly little wolf kicking it just kills me. I can’t do it.

More About Weird Kitty Behavior

If anyone out there has any insight into why my cat sometimes goes completely spastic and starts hissing at and chasing things that for all accounts and purposes do not exist, please let me know. According to my research, I’m the only person on the planet with this problem.

It’s a little creepy when it happens whilst watching America’s Most Haunted Hotels or some cheesy crap like that.

And another thing…

I’m tired of feeling guilty about not wanting to be a wife or mother. I don’t berate or harass those who wish to get married or have children, so I expect the same treatment. Lots of times over the years I’ve told people that “oh, I might decide I want kids someday, I can see the appeal,” or “if I found the right man, I might consider getting married.” It’s bullshit.

I don’t want kids. Never have. Hell, I don’t even like the process involved in becoming pregnant.

I don’t want to get married, even to the right guy, because the “right” guy does not stay the “right” guy for long.  Should I happen to find someone I feel like I need to be around for any considerable amount of time,  I’ll consider joining a bowling league with him.

Fun Stuff

If you haven’t checked out Human Age by now, by all means, do so. No end of fun there. Look me up: my cavewoman’s name is Lesil.

Turning 25 is going to rock!!

I get to go to Florida for my birthday!! I’m going to ride bikes on the beach, see an alligator, eat super-fresh seafood, and ride rollercoasters at Universal Studios!

This does, of course, mean that I have to lose 40 pounds so I can fit into the rollercoaster seats.

This Makes Me a Nerd

Being thrown under a very large bus can wear down a girl on a Thursday afternoon. So when I could no longer stand the sight or smell of the person who took the very, very big mistake they had made and blamed it all on me, I packed up my laptop and descended three flights of stairs to a little cozy cushy chair on the second floor that happened to be directly above the coffee shop downstairs and what did I do? Of course. Leeched onto their wireless. I’m such a rebel.

 Soon after, I watched the new trailer for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. So excited was I that I seriously giggled out loud and very nearly pissed my pants and ruined that brand-new corporate/commercial issued cushy chair. Had I not been at work, I would have stood up and danced like Jim Carrey in Batman Forever. Bellatrix looks amazing and I’m so jealous that Amanda gets to be Bellatrix for the midnight showing.

In the meantime, to assuage my enthusiasm, I will begin compiling my Narcissa Malfoy costume. TEE HEE HEE!!!

March Madness

I’m a sports fan one month out of the year. That month is now. There’s a pool going at work – for bragging rights only, in case big brother is watching – and we all completed our brackets and hung them up together in Shaun’s cube. Now, knowing nothing about basketball except that whoever has the most points wins, I picked my teams on nothing but pure woman’s intuition. The girl in cube 4 picked hers with a coin toss. She’s beating us all.

I’m in dead last right now. So I decided to try a different method. From here on out, I’m rooting for the team whose mascot could eat the other team’s mascot.

 The toughest match was the Vanderbilt Commodores versus the Southern California Trojans. I figured the Trojans were a bit more primitive, a bit more vicious, and more likely to eat a Commodore than vice versa.

Easiest – Volunteers versus the Buckeyes. Hello! Buckeyes are nuts. Literally, they’re nuts. Volunteers could eat them, no problem.

I have it coming down to the final round with the Florida Gators and the Memphis Tigers. Gotta go with the Gators here. Gator hide is tough! Plus, that gator could grab hold of the tiger and pull him in the water and drown him. It’s all over.

Sweet!

Camelot, The Wedding Singer, Phantom of the Opera, and Sweeney Todd at the Kentucky Center this coming season!  I’m sooooooo buying season tickets! 

Smitten

I have a confession to make.

I think Chow Yun-Fat is one of the most handsome men I have ever seen. I’ve been on this Asian movie kick lately, and would much have preferred him to play the part of the Chairman in Memoirs of a Geisha than Ken Watanabe. But hey, that’s just me. Guess that’s why I’m an HR analyst and not a casting director.

Sigh. Perhaps I shall try to find Anna and the King at Book & Music Exchange tonight. What a beautiful, beautiful man.

Nothing is simple anymore, is it?  I feel so much guilt lately I can’t even find words to describe it.  I keep looking for things to worry about, any tiny thing anywhere to set my mind whirling, and all the while I try just as hard to force them from my head, repeating over and over to myself “It’s okay to be happy, it’s okay to be happy.”  Thinking them is one thing.  Acting on them is another.  Both of those, I can control.  So I force out the bad thoughts and replace them with happy ones, and refuse to act on them.  

I ask myself if it’s time for a change.  The last major change in my life was scarcely a year ago, and there have been several minor ones since.  If it is time, when will it stop?  Will I keep craving change on a yearly basis for the rest of my life, or just until I&apos;m satisfied? How much is too much? 

I saw the largest collection of paperweights in the world at the Art Institute of Chicago.  It was actually pretty cool.  I don’t know why I mention that here, but there it is. Paperweights.