Things I Found in My Car

The long-awaited list:

1. A vintage bowling ball and bag
2. Three winter coats I haven’t seen since last winter
3. My favorite green raincoat that has been missing for-ev-er
4. Two pairs of emergency underwear (you gotta keep those around, you never know when you’ll need them)
5. Bucket full of Ya-Ya hat-making supplies that I remember putting in the trunk on Jennifer’s wedding day
6. The bouquet I carried in Amanda’s second wedding
7. Eight pairs of shoes, three which I have never worn
8. A flower pot and doll stand that I was supposed to drop off at Amanda’s house after Hope and Need (in September)
9. A red sweater my sister bought for me when I was a freshman in high school
10. A small saucepan
11. Nine unfinished wooden cabinet doors
12. An extra spare tire. . . seriously, I have no idea where it came from
13. A book I started reading when I was first hired at Humana
14. The lease agreement for my first apartment
15. A black vampire cape from Halloween (which Halloween, I do not know)
16. A scrapbook full of really old family photos
17. The business plan for Help The Ville
18. A computer mouse
19. Three scarves, a belt, and no fewer than ten pairs of socks
20. A mason jar containing a spare key to the car
21. A City of Louisville parking ticket from July 21, 2007;  the day Amanda and I camped out at the 4th Street Borders to get our wristbands for the new Harry Potter book (unpaid, by the way)
22. Copy of _Mere Christianity_ by C.S. Lewis. Yeah, that seemed like such a good idea at the time.
23. Copy of _I, Lucifer_ to balance out the above
24. Two half-used jugs of windshield washer fluid
25. Three ice scrapers
26. One glove

No dead bodies.

Upon Making One’s Bed

Here are several things I discovered in my bed upon waking this morning, and are still here at bedtime. Some should be here, some should not.

1. Humana-issued laptop computer
2. One fuzzy blue sock
3. One fuzzy red sock
4. Theodore E. Bear the panda/teddy bear
5. Three socks, none matching another in the group
6. One pair of green fleece pants I remember wearing to bed Wednesday night but haven’t seen since
7. One Harvard Business Review case study on Colgate-Palmolive
8. Charger for my iPhone
9. One wife-beater tank top I remember wearing to bed Friday night but haven’t seen since
10. One pair of perfectly matching white socks
11. Fluffy feline named Fancy… on MY pillow
12. Pair of reading glasses in conspicuous proximity to HBR Colgate-Palmolive case study
13. Tags from a new article of clothing
14. Plastic clothes hanger from said article of clothing
15. Of course, myself in all my glory

. . . And one mechanical pencil stuck between the mattress and box spring.

Clearly, I need to start sleeping in the middle of the bed, rather than rotating on one side of it all night long like a rotisserie chicken.

And oddly enough, I honestly did not notice all of these things in my bed. Makes me wonder what (or whom!) else may have sneaked into my bed without my knowledge. Hmmm….

Sunday Secret

I never cared about what it was doing to her.

I do now.